It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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