why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
