I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
