Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
