woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
