we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize