it was like his penis was on wheels.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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