um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
