You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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