That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You are the jesus of drinking
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize