the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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