this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
