Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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