If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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