yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
