just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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