drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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