All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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