3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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