actually, I'm a sock model
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
