in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
