my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
His nipple licking is glorious
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