I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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