i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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