dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
