okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
