this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was like eating out sand paper
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want to make out with him forever
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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