woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
