Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
