I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
zippers are such a cool invention
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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