There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
