Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize