u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
