3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
