I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
