What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
