Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
