Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
