I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize