Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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