The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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