you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize