I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
