mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
