I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
