There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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