Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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