I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
