I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
