i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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