Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
