i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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