oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
