Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
