someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
