Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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