Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
