So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
