so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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