he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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