we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this will be a night to untag.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
