Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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