Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
