He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
