Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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