dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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