dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
