I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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