Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
