I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
