Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
