and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize