awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
